Unreplied Text Messages

The love, the guilt, the ghosting, the noise.

Somewhere in our phones live entire relationships paused mid-sentence.

A “Let’s catch up soon!” from three months ago.
A heartfelt paragraph we didn’t know how to respond to.
A meme from someone we adore, that we saw, smiled at, and never replied to.
A “How are you?” on a bad day. Left unread until it aged into awkwardness.

We didn’t mean to ignore. We just didn’t know how to reply yet. So we didn’t. And then… we didn’t again.

Sometimes we opened the message while walking into a meeting.
Sometimes we were just too tired to be a person.
Sometimes we overthought the tone and the words, and by the time we figured out what to say, it felt too late.
Sometimes we wanted to give it the energy it deserved – and never found that energy again.

And then there’s the guilt.

How it multiplies with each passing day.
How we draft the perfect response in our heads and never hit send.
How we imagine the other person slowly removing us from their list of people who care.

Here’s the quiet truth:

The phone rings on the side as I write this.
I let it ring out.

I’m a master of the unreplied.
Calls I don’t answer. Messages I open and emotionally bookmark, then never return to.
I just… run out of self.

I’m wired for one-on-one.
Real conversation. Eye contact. The quiet safety of slowness.
(And often, if I’m honest, one-on-no-one).

But the world doesn’t work in one-on-one. It arrives all at once:
notifications, expectations, voice notes, “quick calls,” endless threads.

That silence piles up. Unread becomes unanswered becomes unseen becomes you don’t care.

I’ve made peace with the fact that I can’t care in real time. Not in group chats. Not in DMs. Not on demand.

Most of us are drowning in unreplied messages – sent and received. Some we regret, some we don’t, some we’ll never open just to avoid the shame of seeing the date.

We’re all somewhere between trying to stay connected and trying to stay afloat.

We’re not “busy.”
We’re overwhelmed, overstimulated, burnt out, and socially exhausted.
Trying to keep up, show up, grow up, stay sane – all while pretending we’re fine.

So if you’re waiting for a reply:
Maybe they saw it. Maybe they didn’t.
Maybe they care deeply but can’t find the words.
Or maybe they just don’t care anymore and don’t know how to say it. Move on.

If you’re the one who hasn’t replied:
Delete the chat, move on.
Make peace with the fact that not all loose ends get tied.

Those who matter will understand.

Silence isn’t always poetic. It doesn’t always mean “I love you.” Sometimes it just means “I can’t. Not right now. Maybe not ever.”

It’s not pretty. It’s real.

And sometimes, real is the most anyone has to give.